As soon as babies infiltrate the ‘girlfriend’ scene, things change! Life is no longer about hanging with your gal pals whenever you feel like it. You have to schedule this time… and if by some miracle you are all free on the same day or weekend, you nearly fall off your seat… because it’s so damn rare to suit everyone.
Then, you think you’ve made plans… you’re excited, everyone is – and then a dreaded note from school or sport lands on your kitchen bench and you read it… “That date, something is on, I’m sure of it…”
The penny drops… it’s a dinner with the girls or a lunch date or a day trip or SOMETHING… something that had taken about 153 group texts between four or five girls to get consensus that it was indeed happening. In fact, I’m sure everyone goes to bed dreaming about this said ‘girl time’.
But… just like that, your little people in your life or a family member or something drops a bomb on you, with an event or a responsibility that you must attend… the event that puts an end to the much anticipated ‘girly’ escape.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! You pick up your phone to crush the dreams of fellow girlfriends… someone has had to pull out, you ponder, maybe in another two years we might all find a mutual date available??? Mmmmm, why is this so impossible. ‘Life’ – life is why – we are all busy humans.
Even the day we were leaving for our girly escape we had to wait until the afternoon so we wouldn’t miss any book week parades… we couldn’t crush our little people – the wine had to wait!
If I had a dollar for every time I’ve been with my girls and we’ve dreamed up the most perfect weekend away, night out etc… Whatever it might be, then I’d be rich because we’ve by far spent more time talking about ‘time out’ than actually making it happen… because like I said above – LIFE!
We were meant to do Vegas for our 30th’s…. [allow me to re-phrase, our 20 something delusional selves said we were going to go to Vegas… dreamin’!!! It was so lovely to dream big, irresponsibly and impractically back then.] Instead three of us had pretty new babes and one pregnant again. We now say, 40ths…. It’s definitely happening, we are ‘God Damn it’ going to do something for our 40th’s we will see, time will tell (I somehow think it still won’t be Vegas… mmmmm)? Who knows, one of us could be pregnant again?!? You just can’t vouch on time being available, I think making the plans smaller and simpler means that you will get that girl time no matter what – no matter how many babies come between now and then.
Let me tell you just how long it took to get here. Nearly fourteen years ago I had my first baby. I was young and I was certainly alone in ‘mum-land’. However, being the only mumma in my group of friends, it didn’t really prove too difficult… When I’d finished breast-feeding, from time to time, I would get my ‘girl time’ and on the very odd occasion, I would be able to go away for a whole weekend (heaven).
As time went on, five years later to be exact one of my friends joined me in mumma land. Another five years later, three bubbas landed, three years later another bubba, ten months after that another bubba and now there is another one in the oven [getting very excited to meet this new bundle]. So lets just say that organising a girls weekend away over the past years (apart from hens nights/netball trips) has proven impossible. Can you relate? Do you itch to get away with some friends?
So when one of the girls declared she was done… “No more babies” and she had finished feeding “I need to get away” she said, “I’m ready” (because she knew I was). I was so damn excited!! [Even though I think she’ll have another one… she’s a super mumma, super relaxed and her children, a reflection of this… I don’t believe she is done… not yet]?! We will see… (She’ll kill me for writing that)!
When ‘pregnant friend’ hears there is a girls weekend away on the cards she says “Don’t you leave me out”… “I want to come”… “We HAVE to do this before my baby arrives.” Ok, ok, the only deal was that she was NOT to go into labour on this weekend away (and bonus… we had a driver… can add a winery for lunch to the trip – hehe). Must say, my gorgeous friend was an absolute legend, stayed up late and whilst she couldn’t drink, she encouraged the rest of us to drink up and be silly– no early night party pooping from the pregnant beauty!
Sadly though, we had to leave a ‘wing-man’ behind. And this is when we came to the realisation that… if we continue to wait for the ideal time to get away, it will never, ever, ever, ever, happen (someone will always be pregnant, breast feeding or have another form of commitment at any given time). So what do you do when you can’t take one of your besties with you because she’s just given birth to a brand new bundle that is quite fond of her breasts and not letting his mumma out of sight???? Well you stick her head on a ruler and you take her with you! That way, she’s in all your ‘selfies’ and you can text her and show that we really, really wished she was with us.
So, after a beautiful weekend away in Bright, it was unanimous – we MUST commit to doing this at least once a year (getting away from home for two whole nights).
There is something so special about girl’s weekends away… I have not laughed so hard in such a long time… we laughed until we were all lying on the ground and couldn’t control our fits of laughter, cried, and felt so much warmth from the genuine support of one another. We re-lived memories from the past, talked about the future and relished in the freeing sense of being away. Two of us who were away don’t have any sisters – for me, this is the closest thing (other than my gorgeous sister in laws).
If you’re struggling to get away or just decide that it’s too hard, it might be worth asking those gal pals again, because it was incredibly soul nourishing and worthwhile!
Thanks for the fun girls – love ya’s.
P.S. A shout out to the capable baby daddy’s who did an awesome job looking after our babes.
P.P.S. I’ll tell you more about where we stayed and other great places for a girly escape in a future post 🙂
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