Today I embrace some key passages from my cancer diary, these extracts were written at the beginning of my journey… gosh I hate that word ‘journey’ let’s rephrase it as an ‘adventure’… An ‘adventure’ into uncertainty, and having no clue as to what would develop each day. It was a mystery, it was foreign, it was frightening and I didn’t know where I was going – the only thing I knew for certain was that I HAD to go on this adventure, I had to take the risks… I valued my life and I needed to fight the bastard (cancer).
[Note: there will be a few ‘swear’ words (profanities) from time to time. I don’t swear a lot, however, when it comes to cancer, I give myself permission and so should you. Nothing like the old “F” BOMB to add emphasis to your thoughts and conviction to your declarations.]
5 Hard Truths that will make your life easier:
Dear Diary… 4 August 2014 (2 days before my first chemotherapy)
“I can’t wake in the morning with the fresh feeling of a ‘new day’ like I used too. That feeling was a privilege that has been ripped from me.”
“Most mornings I wake in a fright (gasping for air), sleep feels safer than being awake at the moment.”
“Distractions and fun/lovely things like seeing friends or going out for a meal are short-lived pieces of happiness that are bliss but then the stillness and quietness brings you back to your living nightmare!!! Anger be gone with you, I hate this. I want to smile and breathe again, I want my normality but deep down, I know life will never be the same again…. So let’s hope it’s fucking better!!”
Treat your life as a privilege and not as an entitlement – no one owes you anything.
A privilege should always be respected and therefore you should feel grateful for your life. Next time you go to whinge about something… stop for just a second (ponder and become aware of yourself and aware of your thoughts), what if you were to reflect gratitude for something instead of complaining? I can tell you right now, you will feel more fulfilled and gracious. Negativity will leave your side and you will feel lighter in that moment. A synonym for ‘privilege’ is ‘freedom’ and freedom is an absolute gift not granted to everyone. Cancer in particular for anyone who has experienced it will agree 100% that it confines and dictates and holds you back. It has a temporary control over your life. So treat your Freedom with the respect it deserves.
Reflection: Although I was in pain and miserable about the ‘dish’ life had just served up to me… I still dug really deep to find something I’m grateful for, to find the hidden message in the pain… to learn something.
Stay tuned for the remaining 4 ‘Hard Truths’ which together will build some key messages/ideals that you can implement into your day to day life immediately.
Thanks for stopping by – it means a lot.
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