5 Hard Truths That Will Make Your Life Easier
You can read Part 1 Here…
So lets keep going 🙂
Dear Diary… 6 August 2014 (After my first chemo)
“I had been building on the mindset with regard to the drugs (chemo)… Poison or cure? The more I thought of poison the more negativity and anger pent up inside me, making me anxious and not ready! Not ready for what??? I want and need to be here, I love and appreciate my life, I need to fight and to do that I NEED chemotherapy!”
Accept what is. Accept what you cannot change. Rise to adversity and maneuver your way through the ‘detour’ until you find a new road.
Save your energy in fighting against what you cannot change. Accept and adapt to whatever adversity has thrown you off course. I believe before my diagnosis I spent way too much time fighting against things that could not be changed. I can also tell you first hand, that this causes unnecessary stress and illness.
Reflection: whilst you need to accept what you cannot change, you also need to give yourself an opportunity to grieve the loss of your life once known. Change is difficult and I fluctuated between the good fight and the struggled/twisted/painful fight. I did not learn these lessons instantaneously. There is a process like anything in life. I just knew in this instance that I needed to change my mindset and instead of thinking about Chemotherapy as poison, it was important that I saw it as my cure. Finding a balance with acceptance will take you to a place of peace.
Dear Diary… 7 August 2014 (Day 2 post chemo)
“Laying frustrated, trying to sleep, relaxation music on, face is hot, like I can actually feel my skin drying out each second. Trying my best to drink as much water as possible to flush toxins. My head aches, my eyes are sore and tired but I’m ok in my tummy. I feel weird, waiting for it to really take hold of my body, hoping… praying that maybe I wont get sick?! I just want to sleep but can only manage short spurts. I feel lazy, who lies in bed all day. I know I need rest but I’m not sure how to? I want to get out in fresh air but my body feels heavy, like every little thing feels a little harder to do. My neck is heavy and I just don’t feel light and refreshed but I am ok! I-AM-OK…. I-WILL-BE-OK…. I know I will be. I-HAVE-TO-BE.”
Life is not fair and just… AND NEVER WILL BE.
Reflection: Once I got over the fact that life had become shit really, really quickly, I found this little mantra a basic way for me to re-connect with my fight and become grounded… I would simply say to myself whenever I felt defeated…
“I am OK”.
Quite simple really, however, because it is a present tense statement it is more powerful than you think. I learnt to say this even if the fear of death entered my mind, because even if I was going to die or am going to die (we all are), I am STILL OK.
Thanks again for stopping by.