The story behind my hand made cards, began when I was nearing the end of my radiotherapy treatment two years ago and I was going out of my mind. Chemotherapy had finished and I was onto daily ‘ray’ treatments to eradicate any remaining cancer cells.
Having to walk through the Cancer Centre doors on a daily basis was not good on my mind and I became extremely anxious. I started to get paranoid… I was nearing the end of active treatment when questions and fear overtook my mind… what if it [treatment] didn’t work, and what if I was going to receive dreadful news regardless of everything I have done to fight the cancer? What am I going to do with my life now? How do I prove that I need my life and I want my life? Was I going to return to my previous career or pave a new future for myself? Was I ever going to have another baby that I so desperately wanted? Should I study? Should I volunteer somewhere? Who even am I after this battle?
My mind was in overdrive and it wasn’t healthy!! (I’m so grateful for the healthy place both my mind and body have found in this present moment).
So it was onto operation ‘find something to keep me busy’!! I started with my pantry… Once it was orderly (ridiculously labelled and co-ordinated), I moved onto another cupboard. I was continually seeking something to keep my mind active and present instead of wandering off into the scary world of uncertainty.
And so I taught myself how to crochet. I started with jewellery baskets and flowers. I would make cards from my creations whenever I needed them for special occasions. Including a beautiful pink and white cross for my God Daughter’s baptism and using my bright flowers to create blank cards for friends.
After crocheting for over two years now, I had quite the collection of things I’d made. Whenever I have free time, I always pick up my hook and a colour that inspires me in that moment, and then I stitch away. Often people laugh and call me a ‘Nanna’ and that’s ok – my ‘taking up’ crochet was a welcome light and distraction at I time I desperately needed it. It’s a hobby that I just love and fits perfectly with my ‘mindfulness practice’.
After a recent crochet rampage (hours and hours) I decided to make a bunch of beautiful handmade cards. I personally love buying handmade made with love and mindfulness.
After crafting my own bits and pieces, I can appreciate the amount of time and love that goes into various handiworks that end up at our local markets as well as online stores.
I absolutely love gifting hand made goods, because they offer, ‘that little something a bit more special’ [and a little less commercialised].
It’s through creativity that I found mindfulness and a distraction from an ever divulging mind that just wouldn’t slow down.
“Creativity requires the courage to let go of certainties.” – Erich Fromm