Blogtober 2.0, Cancer Diaries
Comments 6

Hart Truths – Part 3

If you missed Part 1 and 2 of this blog, you can catch up:

Part 1 HERE

Part 2 HERE

_______________________

Hard Truth 4

Dear Diary… 19 August 2014

“When I’m happy, I seem to be REALLY happy, because to me these little moments of bliss are wondrous. I smile bigger and nearly feel like I could bounce around. It’s ecstasy. Because when I feel good, it’s an absolute blessing. I have now felt rock bottom, so I see a whole new happiness and embracement of life that I didn’t see before.”

*Hard Truth:  The Little things are the big things.

We’ve all heard the saying, “It’s the little things”, however, don’t just say it because you’ve heard it and you know what it means…  Often sayings like these are thrown about and not given any conscious thought – You need to truly FEEL it, you need to recognise these little moments of bliss that come to us daily.  These moments truly are what magic’s made of.

Reflection 1 (after first cancer):  I think I started to realise how important little things were more than I’d ever noticed before.  What I was experiencing with my illness were ‘GINORMOUS’ contrasts. When things were bad, they were rock bottom bad; they were highly emotionally ‘bad’ and I would feel desperate to escape.  On the contrary, when things were good, they were INCREDIBLY GOOD.  What made it good were those ‘little things’ the normal every day occurrences that truly began to shine for me – I became more grateful than I’ve ever been in my entire life.

Reflection 2 (after second cancer): I constantly ensure that I slow things down when I feel like life is moving too fast. A knowing sign that you’re missing the little things is generally when they annoy you.  What do you mean, I hear you ask?  Well, it’s our nagging children, or annoyance at household chores or being too worked up because we are ‘too busy’ and we ‘don’t have enough time’.  If we truly stop and be present and hear what our children speak, and throw ourselves consciously into our housework, laundry and work for example, you actually start to enjoy it.  Enjoying the mundane tasks of life truly reconnects me to my home and I become grateful for the roof over my head and realise that I actually enjoy being house proud and love to clean and tidy.  [That actually reminds me of the blog I wrote: Reconnecting with your home nearly two years ago  – It’s truly one of my favourites].

I also wrote: Eating Happiness which demonstrates an exact moment where I chose to appreciate George instead of doing twenty things at once and not truly anchoring myself to anything at all.  This one’s totally relatable if you’re a busy mum.

With regard to becoming overwhelmed by being too busy – stop and ask yourself if each of the things you have planned are actually things you are looking forward to. If they are – then slow things down and get in the moment, or they will pass you by and you will just reflect with emptiness because you were caught in ‘overwhelm’ instead of enjoying these wonders of life.

I challenge you Next time you are folding washing, hanging it out or packing/unpacking the dishwasher… practice presence… don’t think about anything else.  Feel the warm water on your hands when washing up, smell the fresh linen as you hang it out, look where the sun is and where a good place is for drying – feel the sun on your face.  Put each dish away in its place and simply do the task without thinking about what ‘next’ task you need to get done.  You’ll probably be more efficient AND you might even enjoy it.

That might sound so ‘stupid’ or ‘idiotic’ to some, however, THE LITTLE THINGS ARE THE BIG THINGS and when I was sick, all I wanted each day was the normal, boring and everyday ‘family life’, because to me that is hands down THE BEST! It’s those little things that are the greatest loves of my life and the very things I was petrified of losing if cancer were to take my life.  I always say, “Normal and boring are the best things in life”.

The Little things are the big things.

_____________________________

Hard Truth 5

Dear Diary… An extract from my journal in 2014

“My life is compromised therefore I exist differently (to others).”

*Hard Truth:  We all exist differently… and that’s ok!

Don’t feel like you need to be like everyone else.  We are all unique individuals, chasing different dreams, fighting different battles, with different sets of challenges.  Exist as you are, be true to yourself and respect everyone’s individuality, internal struggles and their choices.

Reflection 1 (after first cancer):  I remember this feeling so intrinsically and still like it was yesterday.  When I was in the early stages of fighting my disease, I thought someone had put me in a glass box, I was isolated and I didn’t feel like I could relate to anyone. I felt like everyone else in the whole wide world had good health and I didn’t, I felt alone.  I felt like I was experiencing life at a distance, like my life wasn’t really mine… I was in limbo not knowing my future – but guess what??? NO ONE KNOWS WHAT THEIR FUTURE HOLDS. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again:  “All any of us have is NOW”!

Reflection 2 (after second cancer):  What this hard truth speaks to me now is absolutely individualism, but more importantly what we as individuals need from life.  What we need when we feel a certain way, what we need to succeed, to survive and to feel emotionally balanced.  One thing that has become a deep desire and furthermore a requirement in my life, is alone time.  I don’t need much of if, but it’s true, we all do exist differently as I depict in this hard truth.  We must ensure that we have time to check in with ourselves, so we can hear our own thoughts, to hear our heart’s desires and to simply just STOP and take check. I need this constantly to rebalance. I will talk more about ‘alone time’ during Blogtober 2.0.

I also know that it’s ok to have support from people who haven’t walked in my shoes. I feel it’s important that I too can offer support to others, even if I’ve not experienced their exact hardship. Too often I distanced myself because I felt there were others who had not felt or endured my pain – and sometimes this can be true… but it kept me so distanced, so removed, just like my first reflection, I was in a glass box and I couldn’t relate to the world anymore because I was lost in my own terror, I was petrified.  But you know what, despite our different challenges and life paths, be it adversity, careers, family life etc – we are indeed all different, and by setting that to ‘be ok’ in my mind and my heart, I was able to rejoin and relate to my friends, my family, my community, my life.

We all exist differently… and that’s ok!

___________________________

So what are those five hard truths once more?

  1. Life is a privilege, not an entitlement – no one owes you anything.
  2. Accept what is. Accept what you cannot change. 
  3. Life is not fair and just… AND NEVER WILL BE.
  4. The Little things are the big things.
  5. We all exist differently… and that’s ok!

I hope you enjoyed this 3 part blog series as much as I did reviewing, reflecting and adding to it.  It helped me immensely to revisit these ‘hard truths’ and I’m so glad I did as it’s been brilliant for my mindset and overall balance to re-instill these lessons I’d learnt back into my heart and mind.

Bec x

P.S. If you’d like to keep up to date with Blogtober, you can do so HERE.

© Copyright 2018 becbraid

 

6 Comments

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