Acceptance and an ability to surrender has been my powerhouse to coming through some relentlessly difficult life events. It’s with these words (and the actions/attitude that follows) that I developed a mindset that took my strength to a new level when life asked me to fight breast cancer for a second time.
The word acceptance to me doesn’t mean to just blandly and bitterly accept what is – period. Not at all, acceptance isn’t the way we see it all too commonly in our everyday interactions, such as a sighed phase of defeat, “It is what it is” and throw our hands in the air at the same time. Sure, IT IS WHAT IT IS… Life throws curve balls, speed bumps and death traps all the time to ALL humans, zero discrimination. So in actual fact, “It IS what it is” – yet we do have a choice on how we make that statement, do you speak those words in negative defeat or in optimistic acceptance?
Negatively speaking would be to ‘accept’ something the way it is because what’s the point in seeing any ‘good’ in a terrible situation, for example, some may make this kind of statement “My life is always shit, shit keeps happening and why would I expect it to be any other way?” And so surrendering to that shitlife with such a defeated train of thought will always breed negativity. Hence that’s the way one would feel – constantly defeated, constantly losing in life. That kind of attitude and those forfeiting words are like a looming dark cloud, forever hovering and forever raining and propagating pessimism. And to be frank… it’s very much what I call a ‘victim mentality’. [I can personally say that this kind of attitude stinks – It’s unproductive, unhelpful and uninspiring. I’ve been there before].
If this concept of ‘Accept and Surrender’ is still a little hazy in explanation, because let’s face it, a lot of words in our English language can have a vast array of meanings, let me break it down…
Affirmative acceptance and surrender:
The kind that comes with peace in accepting what is and surrendering positively to what is required of us in any adverse situation. Accepting and surrendering with hopeful grace so that we can make room for light, giving space to the natural increase of ‘good’ as you progress or rise through darkness. Creating scope for choice and freedom in how we experience.
Affirmative acceptance and surrender = Power
[Power of choice through how we experience).
Defeated/Negative acceptance and surrender:
The kind that comes with ‘rolling over’ and submissively allowing life to railroad you into the black hole of ‘life mess’ and torturous pain. Accepting without fight for the enjoyment of life, albeit through challenges/adversity. Surrendering or succumbing to constant ‘shit’ because you don’t see the point in rising or still experiencing enjoyment. You don’t seek your silver lining. You do not believe that light can shine in or after darkness. It’s allowing life to feel dreadful all the time – it has a compounding affect.
Defeated/negative acceptance and surrender = Lack of power.
[Lack of power because you gave it away).
The statement, “It is what it is” to me, is actually quite beautiful. And that’s because I’m only accepting the aspects of life in which I have no direct control (I accept that I cannot change the fact that cancer has invaded my body twice, I accept that I had to lose my breasts the second time, I accept that cancer as a whole brings a level of uncertainty). Where the power truly sits as explained above, is all in the experience – how we can CHOOSE to experience any given situation, or something that is irreversible.
It’s incredibly important that we don’t throw our hands in the air at all facets of life in difficult form. As easy as it is to feel beaten down, deflated and saddened by what we did not choose… We can still accept and surrender in the most beautiful way. There are lessons in all facets of life, sometimes though we must endure a little (or a lot of) pain to truly appreciate what it’s like to be pain free. There is no need to sell your soul to misfortune… for it is a downward spiral and it is awfully unpleasant. I’ve been down that hole and I’ve had to lovingly find my soul once more; nurture it, allow recovery and through daily practice have managed to keep my soul healthy, vibrant and positively empowered and intact ever since.
So there you have it – why Acceptance and Surrendering are so incredibly important to my life and what I have been through. I’m not just talking about cancer either, so don’t feel like you should have to encounter a life threatening illness to relate. Life is full of knocks, bumps, twists and turns. My adult life started so very young when I fell pregnant at seventeen… adversity comes in all forms and look at what you can create when a twist in the road has an opportunity to become one of the most beautiful life experiences you could ever have hoped for. Even before cancer, I have made many active decisions in how I chose to experience various life encounters. These choices have been produced via a positive outlook and as a result have created nothing but magic and beauty for which I am grateful.
Look around and keep your eyes open, for life is most definitely filled with undulating terrain – just stop yourself for a moment before you see challenges as a set back or misfortune. Or before you can say or think, “Poor me” – for sometimes that pot of gold is just out the other side of your greatest suffering! If you choose a rainbow attitude with an affirmative acceptance and surrender mentality, you will be rewarded with peace, gratitude and light.
Love Bec x
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