All posts filed under: Cancer Diaries

The Perfect Gift

I wrote this blog two years ago and it has been my most shared blog when other people come to me and say, “What can I buy my friend/mother/sister etc – what did you want/need” when they are sadly diagnosed with breast cancer (or any cancer) – I always send the link to this blog.  So I have re-published, with a few additions.  It’s also been published HERE. _________________________ You get the news… a friend or family member has just been diagnosed. You are in shock, you cry and you want to see them. Then… you wonder what you can do for them. Flowers? Chocolates? What do you even buy someone who’s just received this awful news? Their life has just turned crazy, they’re having more tests and scans, they’re having surgery, they’re organising their life so they can function with their kids through the coming months of chemo and radiotherapy… what can I do? What can I buy? What do I say? I have worked together with the amazing gals in my young breast cancer …

A New Moon…

New Moon definition/ A new moon happens every 29.5 days – when the side of the moon facing the earth is in total darkness.  In astronomy, a new moon marks the first lunar phase.  The original meaning of the term is the first visible crescent of the moon, which is briefly visible when it’s low above the western horizon just after the sun has gone down.  As a new moon represents the start of a new lunar cycle, it symbolises new beginnings. Why I love a new moon? … After darkness comes light, yet, before I am ready for the light, I need time to stop, take check, reflect and figure out what my new intentions are. A new moon gives an opportunity of re-setting, reflecting and intention setting every 29.5 days – so there’s ample opportunity to jump on board – it’s not about ‘new years resolutions’ it’s not about goal setting once a year and potentially failing, only having to wait another entire year to start over… Our purpose and intent for life …

Slow Down Sunday

Today’s blog is exactly as the title suggests… Sundays for me (and as a family) is a day to take the pressure down, move slowly and remove all expectations that often sit on our shoulders more heavily from Monday to Friday.  We like to choose what we would like to do as a family and then I personally like to choose what I would like to do (a few little things that individually make me happy). Sunday is a day to reset, rebalance and recharge, and so the saying goes: “A Sunday well spent brings a week of content.” My Sunday so far… I got up at 6am and spent some time outside with our new puppy ‘Pepper’ (we are toilet training, so I got extremely excited when she did a little wee outside, yay, progress).  When I’m outside with her, I just take it all in, I look at the trees swaying above and the green grass beneath my feet – I listen to all the happy birds singing and chirping.  We are just …

Release…

This journal entry was written at four weeks post surgery (August 2018).  I allowed myself to get lost in words and let my heart do the translating.  I loved reading back over this. Vulnerability is so incredibly important. ______________________ Dear Diary, Out of nowhere tears fill my eyes.  My heart swells and an abundance of ready tears roll down my face. My heart is broken yet perfectly in tact.  I think its disbelief? It’s pain needing to escape because ‘everyday life’ can ensure our emotions stay safely clasped away.  Clasped away until the beauty of solace and divine timing loosen the clasps and allow those beautiful cracks in my heart to bleed and be freed. The trickles down my cheek as the tears dry away… The remaining two to three drops fall at snails pace, bit-by-bit – so very present.  The cool bead of salt water that sits on my cheek represents so much:  harshness yet softness, fear yet readiness, pain yet acceptance, disbelief yet peace. My heart feels relief when the tears flow freely – …

Dear Diary… Farewell Breasts

Day 5 – Farewell Breasts I remember writing this – I was at the sunshine coast on my own with three nights away from normal life, my routine and even the kids weren’t with me.  I’d been diagnosed one week prior.  This trip was planned as a solo ‘retreat’ just some simple time away, alone before I was even re-diagnosed… a gift that ended up perfectly timed.  It was a time for solitude when I was in the early days of facing breast cancer for a second time.  I didn’t know what exactly was ahead of me; at that point I was just taking day by day and emotionally preparing for my bilateral mastectomy. A journal Entry… This was 2 days shy of my four year anniversary ‘cancer free’– and boy did falling short of that milestone hurt – It hurt so bad. _________________________ 28 June 2018 Dear Diary, The remembering, the reminiscing and the present moment where I sit right now – Waves crashing meters away… Sitting calm, but knowing wholeheartedly that I need to …

Hart Truths – Part 3

If you missed Part 1 and 2 of this blog, you can catch up: Part 1 HERE Part 2 HERE _______________________ Hard Truth 4 Dear Diary… 19 August 2014 “When I’m happy, I seem to be REALLY happy, because to me these little moments of bliss are wondrous. I smile bigger and nearly feel like I could bounce around. It’s ecstasy. Because when I feel good, it’s an absolute blessing. I have now felt rock bottom, so I see a whole new happiness and embracement of life that I didn’t see before.” *Hard Truth:  The Little things are the big things. We’ve all heard the saying, “It’s the little things”, however, don’t just say it because you’ve heard it and you know what it means…  Often sayings like these are thrown about and not given any conscious thought – You need to truly FEEL it, you need to recognise these little moments of bliss that come to us daily.  These moments truly are what magic’s made of. Reflection 1 (after first cancer):  I think I …

Hard Truths – Part 2

If you missed Part 1 of this blog, you can read it HERE Hard Truth 2 Dear Diary… 6 August 2014  (After my first chemo) “I had been building on the mindset with regard to the drugs (chemo)… Poison or cure? The more I thought of poison the more negativity and anger pent up inside me, making me anxious and not ready! Not ready for what??? I want and need to be here, I love and appreciate my life, I need to fight and to do that I NEED chemotherapy!” *Hard Truth: Accept what is.  Accept what you cannot change.  [Rise to adversity and maneuver your way through the ‘detour’ until you find a new road]. Save your energy in fighting against what you cannot change.  Accept and adapt to whatever adversity has thrown you off course. I believe before my diagnosis I spent way too much time fighting against things that could not be changed.  I can also tell you first hand, that this causes unnecessary stress and illness. Reflection 1 (after first cancer):  whilst you …